Honouring Our Roots, Choosing Our Growth

Lunar New Year is a special season of coming home.

For many Chinese families, it is a time to gather with parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties, and cousins.

It's a time to return to the family we were born into and raised in.

Going back can be more than just a visit. It can be deeply powerful.

Our early family shapes how we see ourselves, how we relate to others, and how we understand the world.

Even if we move far away, even across oceans, we may still notice familiar family patterns showing up in our friendships, our communities, our marriages, and even in the way we parent.

This year, I felt truly blessed to spend time with my paternal family, my maternal family, and my in-laws.

Listening with compassion to their stories and family history helped me understand myself more deeply.

Family stories shape our identity. They reveal the roles we once carried and the values we still hold.

As a child, I was very curious and always asking “why.”

I once asked my father, “Why do we call older people ‘uncle’ or ‘aunty,’ even if they are not related to us?”

He said, “It is a way of showing respect and good manners toward elders.”

As a child, I simply followed what I was taught.

And I’m grateful for the value of respect he passed on to me.

Now as an adult, I see it a little more fully. Yes, it is about respecting elders.

But I’ve also come to believe that greeting someone is not only about age.

It is about acknowledging the people we meet, whoever they are.

To greet someone is to say, “I see you. You matter.”

It is a simple way of honouring another person’s presence and dignity.

Our family of origin gives us our first blueprint.

But it is not our final destination.

Through reflection and intention, we can understand where we come from and consciously choose which values and beliefs to carry forward, and which to reshape, as we grow into our authentic self.

This Lunar New Year may have stirred some thoughts.

If you feel curious to explore more about your family of origin and how it has shaped you, you may consider journeying alongside a counsellor who is experienced in this area. Having a safe and supportive space can help you understand your roots and gently grow from there.

Joyfully

Yvonne Teo